How to Approach Someone Wrestling with Alcohol Use Disorder

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Alcohol Use Disorder continues to be a prevalent condition experienced by 8% of the population, which translates to an estimated 14 million adults in the US alone. It is characterized by heavy or frequent alcohol use despite negative effects on social and occupational functioning, interpersonal relationships, and mental and physical state. Individuals often experience difficulty when trying to quit, leading to prolonged emotional distress both to themselves and their loved ones. According to the 2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, only about 7.3% of adults struggling with AUD in the past year engaged in intervention. How might you relate to a loved one struggling with AUD?

Empathy is always a good place to start.

While the stark effects of problematic alcohol use or dependency are easy to spot, often hidden are the underlying stressors contributing to it. Research has shown a pattern of causes linked to AUD including negative early childhood events, early alcohol consumption in large quantities, physical or sexual abuse, family history of problematic use, disorders of anxiety, depression, eating disorder and PTSD, all in addition to genetic predispositions. What this means is that, for many struggling, drinking is a way to cope with life’s experiences: it numbs the mind and creates feelings of euphoria, granting one temporary relief from physical and emotional pain, trauma, or mental health issues. To effectively approach a loved one or friend struggling with alcohol use, you need to first…

Recognize its function and role in their life.

Otherwise, the chances of them reacting poorly to your engagement increases. It’s as if you’re entering into the picture to condemn and remove their only source of coping and they will naturally resist in defense. Once you’ve taken the time to understand and hear their story,

Acknowledge their underlying struggle.

Empathizing on why they drink redirects the focus from alcohol to their pain and creates space for vulnerability. Once this is practiced and exercised, you can gradually offer support, starting with yourself by being an available means as alternative outlet for them to cope:

“Call me when you’re struggling and thinking of hitting the bottle.”

Explore the situations, feelings, or places that might trigger a drinking episode.

Doing so allows them to anticipate when support is required and even set a time to check in on a regular basis throughout the day.

If you or someone you know is dealing with an emergency related to AUD, please contact your local emergency numbers. In addition, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers a hotline, 24/7, 365 days a year. Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to get in touch.