How to Take a Break from a Relationship

Every so often we might find ourselves in need of some breathing space from our significant other which can result in a temporary separation. This can be for any number of reasons: reassessing priorities, processing relational ultimatums, figuring out life goals, or needing to identify personal needs. Taking a break and putting your relationship on hold may be a good option while you address any of these challenges. Here are some pointers on how to best go about it:

• It might sound obvious but it taking the time to concretely determine your motivations and goals for the break cannot be understated. In order for it be beneficial, to both yourself and your relationship, consider your needs and set expectations for what you will have wanted to gain or learn about yourself by the end. Decide to what degree you’ll involve others as well, from trusted family members to close friends, and perhaps even your therapist and professional confidant. Consider if you’ll need a physical change of space, getting away for a weekend or longer.

• To the best of your ability, clearly communicate its purpose. The notion alone of taking a break can be enough for some to believe the relationship is at its end, with extreme frustration and shock opening the door for strong emotions and impulsive behaviours to take over. Partners might engage in risky behaviours during this surge of insecurity. Taking the time to communicate all expectations in addition to a timeline can help ensure both parties approach the break on the same page and with explicit purpose.

• If the reason for the break is not directly related to quality issues between both partners, emphasize hope. When done well, relationship breaks help you come to terms with your own needs and goals while facilitating reconnection with yourself in deeper ways. All this self- work can only enrich the relational dyad and that’s why partners that continue on after these breaks often come back stronger than before with new resolve and respect for themselves and one another. Taking a big step like this isn’t easy so give yourself the credit for choosing to do so in the interest of you and your relationship.

By clarifying, preparing, and communicating, you can best set yourself up for a productive and meaningful relationship break.