A Low Stress Approach to Quitting Your Job

A challenge some of our career-minded clients encounter is knowing how to manage the anxiety that comes with leaving one job for another opportunity. It’s common for them to view the conversation with their boss as a major source of stress. Getting support during the transition can help manage anxious thoughts. Understanding your anxiety and working with it can lead to the ability to broach the topic with your boss from a more self-assured and collaborative place, making the transition a positive experience for both parties.

 1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ANXIETY

Awareness that there is anxiety coming up for you around changing career paths is the first step to confronting this challenge. Does the anxiety make sense for you? Are there contributing factors to the anxiety? Perhaps there was a situation with a coworker that left you feeling fearful to leave your job or talk to your boss? Identifying these experiences can help to contextualize the anxiety and get a better understanding of where it’s coming from.

 2. GET CURIOUS

Gain clarity on whether the past is also playing a role in the fear of leaving. Working with a therapist can be particularly beneficial in identifying any beliefs or emotional patterns that are being triggered by leaving a job and in understanding how much of this anxiety is being caused by the situation at hand. Being able to separate the past from the present can help with the overwhelm that often accompanies anxiety.

 3. UNDERSTAND SHIFTING IDENTITY

For most high-achieving individuals, a job is never just a job. This means that leaving a job is about more than simply starting a new experience, it’s about identity. Understanding the deeper meaning that accompanies life transitions helps you validate the fear that you maybe experiencing. As our identity shifts, it is completely understandable and expected that core beliefs, past experiences, and powerful emotions are summoned.

 4. RESIST THE URGE TO AVOID

Once you’ve identified the anxiety and contributing factors, it’s time to sit with it. Sitting with anxiety may cause discomfort but it’s crucial to sit with what is coming up for you so that you can respond to the situation mindfully and strategically rather than reactively. Anxiety often creates a sense of urgency and can make us act impulsively. Resisting the urge to go with your impulses can make room for a more intentional choice. The reactivity you’re experiencing may be the most familiar one and will feel true for you in the midst of emotions, but you may be missing the whole picture at the same time. The more that comes up for you around quitting your job, the more space you’re encouraged to give it. It’s common for people to avoid looking at their anxiety and just jump ship when anxiety comes up. This can be counterproductive to what we are trying to accomplish, which for most people would be not burning the bridge with your previous manager.

 5. MANAGE ANXIETY WITH TOOLS

Sitting with anxiety goes hand in hand with managing it. Learning and engaging tools to self soothe such as mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or getting out into nature can ease the impact of anxiety. Stepping outside of the challenging situation will likely give you more clarity on how to best approach your manager. Connecting with trusted friends to talk about the challenge you’re facing can help sort out your thoughts about the situation and gain perspective through an outsider’s lens.